Bruce Springsteen kicks off a cleverly named tour next week. But this week he’s the keynote speaker of SXSW in Austin, Texas, where all things related to music, PBR, hipsters, maxi dresses, sleep deprivation, free vodka you’ve never heard of, cocaine, badge hierarchy, Buddy Holly glasses, Chuck Taylors, entitled assholes, five hour energy, and magical mayhem are happening.
Face it, if you are not in Austin this week, you’re a complete loser and you should question all of your life’s choices thus far. And, if you are in Austin, you’re probably a loser too, because even though you may be at a cool party, there’s a cooler one you won’t be allowed into around the corner. In any case, SXSW participants/badgeholders/day drinkers/jackasses, keep on the lookout for Springsteen hashtags declaring “secret” appearances. You may just be the one fan he invites onstage, like he did with Monica from Friends.