#Riddle: How many S’s are there in a Wassup?

Riddle: How many S’s does a Wassup need? Is it Wassssup or wassup or even just ‘sup?

Any which way you’ll have it, I believe this commercial is the root of the craft beer industries rise in recent years. Here’s the trajectory:

Because this commercial exists, I hate society. Because it was funny once, I hate society. Because America latched on to a corporate campaign to indoctrinate them, I hate society. Because we are all commodities, like the phrase what’s up, I hate society. Yet, it still made me crack a smile thinking of my grandma saying, “Wasssup”. Mostly, I hate mass produced beers because, like Budweiser, they are crappy beers that have semi-commical commercials that somehow manage to make drinking beers, like Budweiser, acceptable. Quality craft is the movement of sophisticated Qwertys.

Here’s your Wasssup flashback to make you want to drink your sorrows away with low quality beer. And yes, still yet, I do drink Budweiser at ball games, at the pool, and even at bars.
PS How many S’s does a Wassup need?

 

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Tush Tuesday: George Foreman #Knockoutthefat!

In 1995, Qwerty peoples were reaching adolescence. OJ Simpson went to trial and the glove didn’t fit, so he was acquitted. Timothy McVeigh imposed his terror in Oklahoma City. And I had my first kiss by a ‘real’ boyfriend.

One other epic historical moment happened in 1995 that would shape every Qwerty’s college cooking experience: The George Foreman Grill.

Knock out the fat!

I could be drawing a grandiose conclusion here, but this simple kitchen gadget changed our generations relationship with food – especially our male members. As we reached our independence, be it college or just plain old figuring things out in a grungy apartment lifestyle while we pursue our most hedonistic dreams, we all had one of these suckers enter our place of living. Our parents bought them for us as a right of passage, our friends borrowed them from us as a right of friendship, our landlords accepted them gladly over fire-threatening charcoal.

We were now ‘cooks’. Young men grilled up ground chuck, pork chops, and even steaks. Young women put their veggie burgers and turkey burgers on it to sizzle and sear. Even toast could be made in desperate times.

After months of neglect and an alarming amount of blackened sticky meat goo layered the non-stick grill, we let our George’s fall to the wayside. We blamed our roommates for the disgusting mess and cursed the damn thing for not being dishwasher safe.

But Qwerty kids learned something from this experience in two divergent ways. We learned to have a relationship with our food and we conditioned ourselves that everything, home or out, can be fast. It was fast cooking, but it was somewhat healthy. It was prideful and it was our first ‘adult’ appliance. While two-thirds of Americans are obese or over-weight, and we struggle daily to fight the mass-production of fat America, Generation Qwerty fights for locally sourced foods. Generation Qwerty fights for community farms yet still stops to snack on cereal at home. We know the meaning of free-range chicken, but we still love Chick-Fil-A.

And we’re being marketed to in the exact formula as the Foreman Grill commercial below. One-third of us are already obese! We have a relationship with our food but it’s not necessarily a healthy one. The marketers have figured this out and we’re gobbling up every ‘gluten free’ labelled meat product, every ‘organic’ potato chip, every ‘soy’ ice cream. Even the Mayo Clinic describes marketers as capturing our generation in a way that’s making us fatter. We outnumber Baby Boomers, and they are not going to miss an opportunity to latch on to our quick-fix, craving induced eating styles.

So I remind us, in the words of our great food leader George Foreman to: Knock out the fat! And don’t let marketers steer your food decisions. . . but the bun warmer option on this grill is enticing.

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TGIF: You got it, dude

I thought you might need a little munchkin today!

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Spent 30 min on #Kony2012? Spend 6 min getting the truth.

From fellow WP blogger Rosebell Kagumire who is a Ugandan journalist and blogger. Inform yourself on both sides of the story.

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Tush Tuesday: Does this chair make me look fat? Yes.

As a generation cultivated to work mid-level white-collar managerial jobs in fluorescent highlighted office spaces, it’s no surprise we are fatter now than our parents were at this stage in the game. We drive to work, sit at a desk, and will die from cubicle induced diseases.

Thankfully, in the late eighties, the little pink hot shorts wearing RN Mary Ann Wilson created “Sit and Be Fit” on PBS. If only I had found this when I started my career I would have years of exercise without the exercise. Her soothing, caressing, kind voice will transfix you to “work the wrists”, “tap those toes”, “pound your fists”, “shake it high”, “try your other leg”, “push, push, push”. Just tap the fat away!

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Music Monday: The Boss Still Rocks It

Bruce Springsteen kicks off a cleverly named tour next week. But this week he’s the keynote speaker of SXSW in Austin, Texas, where all things related to music, PBR, hipsters, maxi dresses, sleep deprivation, free vodka you’ve never heard of, cocaine, badge hierarchy, Buddy Holly glasses, Chuck Taylors, entitled assholes, five hour energy, and magical mayhem are happening.

Face it, if you are not in Austin this week, you’re a complete loser and you should question all of your life’s choices thus far. And, if you are in Austin, you’re probably a loser too, because even though you may be at a cool party, there’s a cooler one you won’t be allowed into around the corner. In any case, SXSW participants/badgeholders/day drinkers/jackasses, keep on the lookout for Springsteen hashtags declaring “secret” appearances. You may just be the one fan he invites onstage, like he did with Monica from Friends.

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Weird Al Gets Retrospective, Kind Of

I’m fat, I’m fat, you know it. Been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise. Like a surgeon, cutting for the very first time. These songs and other choice Weird Al favorites are now immortalized in art. This weekend Gallery1988 in California opens their show “Is This Thing On? 2” – The Weird Year.

Gallery1988 teamed up with FunnyorDie to literally make comedy an art form. How clever.

My cassette tape of Weird Al’s “Even Worse” is no where to be found now. But if I could pull it up, I would find hits like “Fat”, “I think I’m a Clone Now”, and the forgotten classic, “This Song’s Just Six Words Long” mocking George Harrison’s “I’ve Got My Mind Set On You.” Oddly enough, this album was released in 1988. . .

If you are anywhere near the Melrose location of Gallery1988 this weekend in L.A. watch out for Weird Al himself, who will be in attendance tonight and hosting the reception from 7-10 pm.

For more info take a look here.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, the official “UHF” music video. (You can buy a print based on this song too.) We’re going to make a couch potato out of you!

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